The worst thing in life is not being alone, but being surrounded by people who make me feel like I am an outsider is even worse. I felt like I was standing behind a window. I could see everything that was going on, I noticed the actions of the variety of people around me, but I wasn’t present. I was looking at everything and it was as if I was looking at the world for the first time.
Before I stood behind my window, I felt shallow. The daily conversations I would participate in, all filled with drama that just recycled itself as time went on, and made me feel more alone in my life than what I have ever been. I spent countless days among my friends faking smiles and trying to talk about all these shallow topics and I felt alone and I felt like an outsider.
I was different from my friends, from everyone, and I always was. I feel so trapped inside of myself when I am in society. I feel like I have to dull myself down in order to communicate with people my age. I don’t want to be a part of society. I would rather be alone than to stand there and have pointless conversations with people when my mind is filled with a higher thinking.
I want to be challenged in a conversation, I want to be able to think and use my brain when I talk to people, not just idly stand there saying okay or laughing and saying yeah in the fakest way I can. I would rather be behind my window than a part of society.
I don’t feel like an outsider when I am traveling. I feel happy and content with the people of different cultures that surround me. I am the only person who is true to myself and I don’t have to be fake or pretentious when I am surrounded by people so different from me.
Traveling taught me that I do not have to feel like an outsider anymore, because I know that although I may be surrounded by many people, I am an insider when I get the next opportunity to travel to a new thrilling destination.
All I have to do is take a step back and remember the experiences that travel has brought to my heart. When is the last time that you disconnected with society and reconnected with yourself?